Dear

Dear Mum,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I don't respect you since you won't respect me.
I'm sorry that if I don't get good grades I won't be able to look after you in the future.
I'm sorry that you have a headache and that I've been talking non stop since the fireworks.
I'm sorry that everything you've done you've done for me.
I'm sorry did I forget the not.
I'm not sorry for any of these things reality check PLEASE.
I've already tried respecting you it didn't work.
Today I asked one thing from you and that was some respect.
Do you know what you said well you pretty much said "I don't get any respect around here."
WAKE UP FOR FUCKS SAKE!
GET YOUR HEAD IN YOUR FUCKING HEAD BITCH.
ARE YOU OR AREN'T YOU THE ADULT IN THIS HOUSE?
REALITY CHECK.
IF EVERYONE WAITED FOR SOMEONE TO DO SOMETHING FOR THEM.
WE WOULD ALL DO NOTHING.
THAT'S WHAT YOUR SAYING YOUR WAITING FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
An eye for an eye that seems to be your way of thinking at the moment and that is wrong!!
You wat me to say nice things to you yet you never say anything nice to me.
When you were asked about it this is what you said "my mother never used to give me any compliments ever."
Well sorry sweetie that stage of  you life is over.
What about me????
Look after you when I'm older I'll have my own life and you WILL have yours.
About your headache I've got one too except I've also just had a sick day still have sore throat and my shoulder blades and arms are sore from studying and exams. I've also got a cough that has lasted about 5 weeks and I never get a good nights rest anymore.
So stop your bitching.
The last point we both know that is completely true and there would have adoption available....
So mum stop your moping and complaining about your sucky life and do something about it or stop complaining about it.
Cause whenever someone complains it doesn't make anyone feel any better.

So sorry about this post a tiny few of my feelings escaped onto the web.

Everyday people use masks to escape danger to hide their true feeling what happens when the mask doesn't go away.
And your true feeling never can show through.
This blog represents the cracks in my mask "the real me"
And before anyone says oh this girl is just trying to get attention because I'm not.
I'm just making sure I don't commit a murder suicide.
Even though it is pretty tempting.

So looks like its time to look back at the past again.

Seeya stalker.
Love
Just_another_bored_teen_trying_not_to_be_seen
01:02   6/11/2010
Music the universal language. Music has the power to move you and does so. Whether it be tears or to lighten up a situation. In every T.V. show there is music it might be that dramatic music whether someone is in danger or dying. Classical music requiring full orchestra is beautiful and can move you in many ways. the harmony of all the instruments  is amazing. I want to learn how to play some of these magnificent instruments with the help of my friends. Also there is globalized music such as cds and music videos. Music is everywhere and it is awesome. ROCK ON =P
-Sarah
22:09                   23/08/10

Hey for the stalker who follows my blog anyone?
Sorry for the lack of posts.
Had bad flu-cold thing still do.
But finally the last of my exams are over.
For this year that is.....

Oh yeah some thought while I was sick....
I would rather do that rather than it.
Umm I think my math teacher saw some of those marks would rather not have to explain it. Oh well will probably do that next anyway.....

Stand up and walk. Move on.
After all, you have perfect legs to stand on.
Edward Elric (FullMetal Alchemist)
 
True.

Seeya stalker
Love
Just_another_bored_teen_trying_not_to_be_seen
01:23      6/11/2010

Well...

At the moment I'm really busy I don't have time for anything even this.
Or THAT.
Which is good cause I'm not doing that at the moment but as soon as exams are over.
I probably will.
Exams the reason why I don't have any time at the moment.
Oh yeah my economic exam was easy.
I think I might of passed but only just.
I  stuffed up two part of it.
Note : study not before school.

Well got to get my beauty sleep soon.

Seeya Stalker

Love
Just_another_bored_teen_trying_not_to_be_seen
22:48 2/11/2010

What happens when you want to follow someone but you know you can't. And if you don't follow don't follow them everything will change forever. What happens when you have got to make a choice on who to follow, what to follow. Or should you not follow anything or any person and see who follows you. Right now we have to choose our path we want to follow. But some of us don't get a choice with parents and adults making decisions for us. "the path we take defines us" that is rubbish some of it is truth but for some people who get forced into classes and subjects they take defines their parents more than it defines the child.
-Sarah
22:24   22/08/10

Yep thats true I  guess .


A path is something you create as you walk it. The ground you've trodden hardens, and that's what forms your path. You're the only one who can create your own path. Walk on your own. If you haven't given up yet, that is.
Cross Marian (D.Gray-Man)

Well seeya probably will do that bye stalker.

Love

Just_another_bored_teen_trying_not_to_be_seen

10:54  2/11/2010

The same old

Yeah everything is getting worse.
But what is getting worse is actually making me feel better for now.
But that won't last.
Each time it takes more to get the same effect as the first time.
Almost as if it were a drug.
5th time ever .
3 times this week alone though.
So what am I going to do about it?
Well what can I do?
There are a few options but they will just leave me looking like a lunatic.
And I really don't want to look like one of those.
So what am I going to do?
Nothing absolutely nothing.
If someone else notices then so be it.
I won't care but there is no way I'm going to say anything about my self.
And no matter what happens through and through just like in the past I will never do anything disruptive for attention.
And I hate it when someone else says other wise.
In fact I really really hate attention.
It is just so arrogant to want attention.
And you can become obsessed with attention.
And become someone who you're not.
All for attention.
And that's not who I  want to be.
I would rather have no friends than be completely fake all the time.

But we all live in our own beautiful lies.
Some peoples just happen to be bigger than others.

Seeya stalker
Love_just_another_bored_teen _trying_not_to_be_seen  22:26 1/11/2010

Rant

(Insert swear word of you choice) hell.
No matter what I seem to do my mum.
Can always piss me off.
Avoiding her doesn't work.
Trust me it doesn't work.
So lately I've been trying to ignore her which is partially working.
Not really.
But I can try.
Can't I?
Man I know this sounds really sad and I know that it is.
But I really do hate my mum.
3 years longer is all I have to wait till I can leave.
I can't wait but unfortunately I ahve to.
Everything she does manages to piss me off.
She is just so full of criticism and it's not like she can talk.
Really sorry about this rant I will try to stop these sort of posts.

Seeya stalker

Love
Just_another_bored_teen_trying_not_to_be_seen

To think

God it's hard to think that it has been 2 years 1 month 1 day and 16 hours since you left.
But to me it feels as if you're still here.
Sometimes I catch myself thinking of seeing you
Then I remember.
Sometimes I wish I could forget everything and everyone.
But then I would forget about you and all the great times we had together.
And how much I love and miss you.
And even though it's sad I never want to forget those memories.
Because they make me who I am.
And who I am going to be.
They are my past and a part of me.
Even though it hurts when I think of you I can still remember the good times.
Which can make me smile.
I will always love you.
I will probably never feel the same way about anyone else.
I wish you were here.
I miss your hugs and your warmth.
I miss you always.
I love you always.
Hopefully I will see you soon but not to soon.
Love Sarah.
Okay sorry for anyone who happened to read that so um yeah.
Man that sounds so depressing don't get me wrong I don't talk like this in real life just ask anyone I know.
Sorry I just had to write it out.
Yes if you were wondering this is where my thoughts go.
And they are not the pleasantest things ever.
So sorry about that.
If you know me I won't normally talk about these thing.
And also if you know me how the hell did you find my blog?
If you know me I would prefer it if you don't talk to me about this blog, because this is nothing.

Seeya stalker
Love
Just_another_bored_teen_trying_not_to_be_seen
17:28 31/10/2010





I decided today that I would write in this here book. Don't ask why I decided to write in this book because I have no idea why. Okay maybe I do know. So I will tell you the reasons. Reason 1: Handwriting needs to improve. Reason 2 So I can sort out what I want to do from one day to the next. Reason 3 So I can make some decisions. Reason 4 I don't really know why maybe because I'm bored.
-Stahn
13:59 21/08/2010



Yep so that was the first entry in that book.
Just so you know I will be skipping out some parts.
Because  I don't need to write them here as well.

Seeya stalker
Love
Just_another_bored_teen_trying_not_to_be_seen
17:38 31/10/2010

?

Well a few thing have gotten worse.....
I know I shouldn't be doing some of the stuff I do but I can't seem to help myself....
So yeah that's getting worse......
Crap is it possible I am actually finally losing the last of my mind.
Cause it sure feels that way....
God this is another depressing post.
Sorry.............
Don't know what to do-Dane Rumble
ain't nobody else to blame,
i know you feel the same

well i dont know what to do

well i dont know what to do... with you.

heeey now hey now



been a long time in the making

i'm so sick and tired of everyday blues

rolling down the same track

messin with the same old cats when the pain is loosea

I sick bein statoinary, I'm the man who's always on the move

And I aint never gona stop, till im knocking'em heads on top is what Im going to do

And I been there before, eyes like pennys that drop on the floor

And I wont do it no more, this time around I know for sure





ain't nobody else to blame,

i know you feel the same

well i dont know what to do

well i dont know what to do with you.

I seen her hundreds times before

I just can't run no more

cos I dont know what to do

yes I dont know what to do... with you.



And I'm so glad that we made it

I'm happy to see you by my si-ide

There's been Trials and Tribulations

God only knows how hard we've tried

I've seen a mountain fall to the water

I just take this in every stride

So for one day in the future

The family can hold their heads up high



And I've been there before

So messed up, bust down the door

looking for answers on the top shelf

Nobody helps a man who wont help himself



And I'll give you one clue musics the tool that got me through

When I don't know what to do

Yes I don't know what to do... with you




This song is pretty much the song that describes my life
I still don't know what to do but I can't help myself.

I know this may seem sad but am I just using this blog to call out?
For someone to notice?

Man I seriously have issues.

Well bye............
Sorry for the bad post............
Seeya stalkerJust_another_bored_teen_trying_not_to_be_seen
Love
Just_another_bored_teen_trying_not_to_be_seen